Day FourtyFour;

Just a ranting post, I guess. Since I really don’t have anywhere which I can’t rant out freely with no one caring. I CAN DO IT HERE :’D

So like; recently I have become much too obsessed with a little something called EXO. I’m a proper stan. And have been since the first teaser came out. 

I can’t help how I feel; I can’t help my love for them.

I can’t tone it down. I can’t even make myself stop.

But people know this and I appreciate that some certain individuals have the capability to accept my possessiveness and .. passion towards them. 

However; when I warn you that a spammage is about to take place, and that you should probably unfollow me and all that good snazzles; I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ME AND REITERATING TO MAH EYES ABOUT HOW OBSESSED I AM.

I’ve warned you before. HOURS BEFORE.

I’ve even stopped spamming on our social systems which you all complained about.

WHAT MORE DO YOU BLOODY WANT ME TO DO FGS. 

I KNOW IT MUST PISS YOU OFF; BUT WHEN YOU’RE CONSTANTLY BASHING ME ABOUT MY OBSESSION OR ‘WAY OF LIFE’ DO YOU NOT THINK I’D GET UPSET.

For god’s sake. It’s like having people constantly trying to force their control onto you.

NO. DUN TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 

IMA LIVE MY LIFE HOW I WANT. AND IF YOU CAN’T ACCEPT THAT THEN GO RE;LEGKNE BZZ OFF TO SOMEWHERE ELSE PLEASE.

I DON’T WANT YOUR NEGATIVITY DIRECTED IN MY FACE >:OO

Because it makes me mad. And sad. The fact that you think I’ve gone crazy. 

WELL THIS IS MY HAPPINESS OKAY? I AGREE I HAVE GONE OVERBOARD BUT STFU WITH STATING IT OKAY. 

I’M SORRY I’M NOT AS COOL AS YOU; YOU WHO’D RATHER CHILL OUT AND ABOUT SOCIALISING. 

Tbf; I would. BUT LOLS REVISION HAS FCKED THAT UP :DD

Man. 

I’VE BEEN LIKE THIS FOR YEARS NOW. It’s just.. this time around it’s increased tenfold. 

Yet I regret nothing :] 

NOTHING AT ALL.

OKAY?

Rant done.

Over and Out~ :3

Day FourtyThree;

So I had a really nice dream last night. Normally my dreams are forgotten almost instantaneously; but this morning I woke up to the brilliance of the Sun streaming through my window, and making everything all happy and bright. 

I felt really happy :D

I think I dreamt of Kai again o.o I’m not too sure though. I think he popped up near the end, as if a character magically morphed into his figure knowing that I’d wake up any moment from that point. 

But I think I was really happy because I was holding someone’s hand the entire time. I think it was the character who was previously blonde.. and white o.o with really yummy blue eyes before he morphed into Kai xD

We.. were trapped in a sort of dreary miserable world, where everything was grey and  wet; the ground all muddy and slushy and.. gloopy. 

But we were riding a bus around the place [which reminded myself very much of Peckham. Maybe it was because I watched ‘The Secret Millionaire’ based in Peckham on bb iplayer straight before I fell asleep xD] But yes.. 

I was really happy because I think he was my bf? o.o

And I know this sounds very sad of me, but yes. Holding someone’s hand and feeling all mushy and dovey [even though it was only in a dream] felt very..

nice :]

Now I want to find a guy. Seriously. 

:[

Haish.

I want to hold someone’s hand.

D;

gr;lkrng;lkr

I can’t remember much else.. but I know my sister was there :D And she was acting like a dork xD 

..

hm.

I like waking up all happy. Even if after that initial moment, you realise nothing was real. But still; those couple of precious seconds really brighten up my day sometimes :]

okie.

-

Over and Out ~ :3

Day FourtyTwo;

Technically I’m cheating by posting twice on the same day, but convincing myself that they were written on different days ;D HEH. I cheat the system. AW YEE.

So I just found a post on my main account, and there was a topic written for each day of a year. I thought I’d knick the topic title for day 42, and proceed with my answer.

So.

Day FourtyTwo; 

Write a letter to yourself stating all the things you love about yourself.

Here we go:

Dear Self,

Though there are many things I wish could be tweaked and changed for the better, there are still many which I’m proud exist. Characteristics that, without, would make me a different person entirely. 

• I love the way you do not conform to mass opinions of others. How your thoughts and decisions, though challenged by the mass majority, will stand their ground and refuse to be budge from the spotlight. 
• I love the way your thoughts run. How, even though other people might look upon and judge, you still don’t give a rats arse. People who are close to you know that you are.. odd. But if you weren’t, then wouldn’t that just make you a very boring, typical narrow and straight minded girl with no intentions to think beyond the lining circling the bubble of our thoughts. 
• I love how you are a hypocrite. Depending on the cirumstances, in the majority of cases you will take perspectives of both sides. Though you may judge at first impressions and meetings, should people do bad things or act in ways negatively, you try to see the good in their actions. You try to think beyond and come up with a reason for why they have resorted to act this way. You try to relate with them and reason on their side. But sometimes.. acting this way has it’s bad points. Maybe you’re just too nice of a person, maybe you try to forgive too easily; maybe you’re an easy target to be played. But try as you might, this trait will never change. 
• I love how you’ve grown more over the past few years. From a shy, quiet and timid geeky nerd, to someone who is still quite introverted, yet much more open and confident. I love how you want to try things out, and are slowly loosing the care of what other people think, and how they judge you [appearance and actions wise]. 

There aren’t many things, but if I carry on, I shall seem too narcisstic. So for now, I shall leave it at that. I just hope in the future, you will do more things to make me proud and happy to be a part of you.

:]

Over and Out~ :3

Day FourtyOne;

So, the other day I finally received my UCL offer. To say the least; ESTACTIC ELATION TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND BACK.

My first choice done and dusted >:D After nearly two months after my interview.

But I can’t complain. AT LEAST IT’S COME :’D

Now I just need to buckle down and work like some hermit crawling by the depths of the sea.

:]

Hm. <3

Over and Out~ :3

Day Fourty;

heh heh heh~

I’m BACKKK >:D For good this time.

So I started watching White Christmas a couple of days back. I feel happy, yet sad that it only lasted for 8 episodes; but if it had carried on for more.. gosh. I would not have been able to get away from the computer.. 

I think it’s possibly one of the best kdramas out there, especially since it ticks all of the boxes for me, in terms of what defines a perfect drama. 

• Male dominated ;D With gooooooooooood looking specimens.
• Lee Soo Hyuk. The perfection of a model.
• Psycologically thrilling. Cryptic messages and traps and all that mojo that messes with one’s mind.
• The cinematography.
• The music.
• The moods and the way emotions and atomospheres are generated through flawless acting/ production/ the camera work/ and the OST.

Basically, what I’m trying to say; is that it is simply amazing. Maybe because I like situations when you try to suss everything out for yourself, and the cracked pieces just fit together over time. The way they trick you, and continually bring out shocking truths and twists and turns; make it just one of the best. 

Or maybe it’s the plot. The way it involves seemingly perfect teens who lead a life locked in a prisoned institution sectioned off from the world. Yet they are all so messed up, and raw inside. Eggs of monsters, just waiting to hatch out and lash at the world. Twisted beings in a twisted tainted world where good and bad are not appreciated. Anyone can be hit at any time. A world where fate is cruel and heartless. Where blames are made, and assumptions brewed. Innocent beings suffering at the mercy of the fearless. 

And it all started with a simple note;

I kept thinking about it.

When did it all begin?

You tainted me, made me pitiful.

You made me a monster in the corner.

You silenced me.

You ridiculed my false hopes.

You took the only thing I had and put it around your neck.

I held out my hand and you let go.

You deleted me from your eyes.

Finally, you overtook me.

- Park Moo Yul - Yoon Su - Lee Jae Kyu - Choi Chi Hoon - Kim Hyun Joong -

<3.

UGH^ <3 // Must calm down.

Over and Out~ :3

Day ThirtyNine;

Fact no. 5: I love Aquariums.

I had never been to an aquarium in my younger years of life. But after somehow coming across an amazing video on youtube of an enormous japanese aquarium; it is not one of my life goals to go there, and experience the sheer brilliance that is the marine world. 

I went to my first aquatic trip back in summer of 2011, to the London Aquarium bordering the Thames. But.. I was shamefully dissapointed. I was expecting so much more.. 

But I can’t complain, I still loved it. I could probably sit for hours and hours on end, just watching and observing. Contemplating and drifting, off into the world of gills and fins. 

It was content. I felt happy :’D 

UGH; just watch this video and you shall feel the pull of its amazingness. <3 One of my favourite videos of all time. 

I’ll probably keep the video running in the background as I continue with my essay :3 

Over and Out, my cherubs~ :3

Day ThirtyEight;

Fact no.4: I like to draw.

So, yesterday my procrastination levels reached sky high and my mind simply refused to do any work. So I opened up my long forgotten program, and whacked in the tablet; pen poised to create. 

However, it’s been a while since I’ve drawn; and it’s frustrating when no inspiration or madly creative thoughts spring upon the mind. So I thought I’d stick with a simple sketch of some character :’D 

I’m currently in the midst of attempting to master and ‘perfect’ my manga-styled people. It’s not going well; the proportions are horrendous, and the lining is atrocious. The shading is utterly shameful and the strokes are akin to goodness knows what. But it’s okay. 

I love to draw :’D And listening to my precious songs, while tapping away with a pen makes me happy and content. 

I would take a picture of my GCSE final art piece and show you guys; but I can’t find it :/ Which is odd in itself since it was made on a freakin’ big ass piece of board o.o

Ah wells. Should my skills improve somewhat; I shall muster up the courage to force your visions with it’s sadness :’D

But for now; I feel the golden kiwi lying beside me calling for me to devour it. 

So yes. 

blockheaded spucks need to continue and not give up. YU SPUCK.

Over and Out~ :3

Day Thirty&ThirtyOne&ThirtyTwo&ThirtyThree&ThirtyFour&ThirtyFive&ThirtySix&ThirtySeven;

Heh~ I’m all talk and nothing else. How dissapointing.

So I know this has been long overdue; but maybe I should answer, or at least post ONE answer to these Themed Thursdays of ours :’D I’ve made drafts of two.. but have yet to finito them ;D

Thus; here we go. 

Day ThirtyThree; Describe Your Dream Holiday.

My dream holiday, eh. Well this will be an accumulation of all thoughts and feelings, wishes alike, which are truly dear to me. 

First off; I wouldn’t mind heading to a place where everything can experienced all at once. The hot, the cold. The beaches, the glaciers. Everything. And I think this place would probably be Peru. In my perfect ‘dream holiday’ I’d be bumbling around with my closest friends and possibly a few kpop biases dotted around here and there. Yes. Taemin would definitely be there. 

We’d all stay in a pretty hostel for the first night, admiring the city life and capturing films to our hearts’ content. We’d run around getting to know the local people and to find out more about the Peruvian culture. We’d stuff our faces and acquire food babies borne forth from the local cuisine, and all things sugary and sweet. We’d get lost and stumble around in the hot heat with crumpled up maps and broken compasses, and in the end resort to using our GIS iphonic systems to just cheat our way through life. Then we’d find a hill or some sort, or maybe a rooftop, looking over the entire city and direct our faces towards the setting sun, drinking mango juice and other concoctions, bathing in the twilight rays. Cotchin’ around for a couple of hours, we’d burst our way back through the streets and throw on some new clothes to see what the night life would make of us. Nothing too hardcore, of course. Just a taster of what it’d like to be free and in control, on a holiday out with some special people. 

The next day we’d pack all of our things together and transform into campers, hikers and the like. Lugging around heavy backpacks with khaki shorts and those big heavy boots, couples with stringed hats and those snazzy shades. We’d trek it up a mountain to really get a taste of what fresh air truly is. And few huffs and breaks there would lead us to heights of awe. Picnics high up in the altitude will feel great. Stuffing our faces, basking in the aura of complete satisfied achievement. We’d really made it up here. Then we’d bathe on flat rocks, soaking in the Peruvian rays, telling stories and speaking utter nothings. It’ll feel as if life has seemingly frozen for a few short breaths of time; allowing us the comfort to just forget about the doom and gloom lying ahead of us. Nothing would matter. All we’d know would be now and the present. Sharing this short span of peace, with just a few special people, while the leaves rustle gently with the breeze, and the birds chirp in harmonious twitters. 

Utopia~

But most of all? The highlight of the entire trek? Nightfall. A time when we’d be utterly alone to the darkness of the wild. But we wont be alone. Really it’d seem as if we’d hardly matter in the existence all around us. For we would witness the brilliance of the nightsky; no hindrance, no sign of human endeavours. Nothing to stop us from seeing everything. I’d go back to those times where I could see the Milky Way streaking through the sky, like an artist’s brush stroke, sweeping through the canvas that is the night sky. We’d see shooting stars blinking at us left right and centre. All our wishes and dreams could come true. We’d see clouds and clusters, blinking and waving at us from the netherworlds that they dwell in. And we’d see other beings, all the way out there.. staring right back at us. Billions and billions of years late.. It’d be as if we were time travelling; seeing things and existences which no longer exist in our real time. And I think that’s the scary thought really. Nether world beings out there would see the light that I am casting on them, probably billions and gagillions of years from now. But I would be like a book of history to them. Since they’d see me alive.. when in reality; I am dead. 

Charming thought, right? 

But yes; I could rant on and on about how this ‘dream holiday’ of mine would continually get better and better. But that would tired me out much too soon, I’d seem like a crazy child. Depressive thoughts might prevail should I realize that all of this will be too ambitious to conquer in my lifetime. 

So I shall leave it at that. 

I promise to write continuously now. I’ve let myself down. But I can recitify it :’D

Over and out~ :3

Day Seventeen&Eighteen&Nineteen&Twenty&TwentyOne&TwentyTwo&TwentyThree&TwentyFour&TwentyFive&TwentySix&TwentySeven&TwentyEight&TwentyNine;

Okay; so I really am a flop. Like the biggest flop in the world~

I have attempted to answer the themed thursday question which was put out two weeks ago; but so far I haven’t finished it yet. It’s taking me so long, and I don’t want to publish it when it’s incomplete and just not up to scratch o.o and for the themed thursday that’s just gone? Yeee I still need to sink my teeth into that. D; 

But yes; I apologize profusely for my lacking ability to complete this challenge; but I shall continue and strive to go at this head on stampeding! I just; Idk. I’ve felt sort of.. out of it recently. I thought all the stress would’ve left me by now.. but it really hasn’t :/ New things just keep on prodding me left right and centre. -.- 

Ugh; hopefully after this friday I’ll be more or less freeeeee from all this stufffffffs; and I have put more motivation towards doing all my blogs :’D <3

Sorry :[

<3

Over and Out :3~

Day Thirteen&Fourteen&Fifteen&Sixteen;

Wow; I really am a flop.

Okay guys; I’m really sorry I’m really lacking in this whole challenge D; But after Friday, I promise to get my posts up and running again properly. I keep procrastinating and juggling around so much homework on top of attempts to revise is really :GKIEN:OIN for me right now D; 

UGH Y AM I SO SWAYED BY SKYPE AND THE  INTERNET T_T

but yes; after friday; I shall be bamming this challenge like WHUUUUT,

:’D

Gomen~

 I have failed T_T

Alpaca blublub rolling around like SHOOOOOOOOOOOM~

Over and Out~ :3